Apr 27, 2010

Welcome to my Life

I find myself tossing around, yet immersed in deep sleep. The earsplitting alarm rings only slightly in my dream. It has yet to wake me. Like most weeks, my body has endured hours of stress in the form of training. It is starving for rest as a result. Half awake, I roll over while placing two fingers on my neck… 52 beats. Every action in the life of an endurance athlete is calculated. A normal heart rate is an invitation to force my tired body out of bed. Any irregularity warrants a decision. Rest or continue to push the limits of the human body. Today, my body grants me the opportunity to rise. The first few steps every morning are the most difficult. Many miles of pounding cause my feet, ankles, and knees to ache. I slowly limp across my bedroom floor. My aches subside before my morning dose of caffeine reaches my brain. Another day with its own set of challenges awaits. I am the only person responsible for meeting those challenges. I must proceed with an open heart. This is the life that I chose for myself.

Irrational thoughts are common place to a struggling endurance athlete. Keeping myself sane is always a priority. My daily life is spent inside of my own head. I listen to the water moving across my body. I listen to the road slipping away from my tires. I listen to the breathe escaping my lungs. I continually listen to my body, but I reject any thought of weakness. Hours upon hours of my day are spent in solitude. Luckily, I only answer to myself.

Self improvement is my motivation. My only concern is proving to myself, and only myself, that I have something special deep inside me. I will spend my life pursuing a moment in time. My biggest fear being that I miss that moment. I work for the future while I live in the present. I embrace, yet forget, the past. I am my own driving force. I swim. I ride. I run.